


I will be grateful for this day

by ls1884



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, F/M, I hope it works, I'll just try it and well, It's based on a personal experience so mehhh, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of self harm too, Pining, Tagging sex is weird as fuck, That's it, There will be alcohol ok?, This is just about confused teenagers with first real crushes, This is my first fic so please don't kill me, and about discovering sexuality and acceptance, blowjob, i don't even know what i'm doing, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ls1884/pseuds/ls1884
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And this, Louis, this is my book about us. This is me telling what happened, how we fucked everything we had up, how I fucked everything up, but how we gave everything we had to each other for as long as we could, about how we were happy. I'm sorry we had to break our hearts into pieces to finally be free. </p><p>You'll always have a part of me.</p><p>With love, H. x</p><p> </p><p>[Louis is Harry's first real crush and they had a true beautiful romance, but it didn't work out... so Harry writes a book telling their story.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Erm... Hi? So, this is my first fic, I hope it works out. I had the fic idea while reading some old posts at tumblr, I saw a letter and a poem I wrote to my first real crush and she was/is amazing. I'm extremely nervous so yay, I hope this is good.  
> It will be chaptered, ok? 
> 
> Well, yeah, it is what it is.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Also, I want to thank [Giulia](http://wtf-is-this-band.tumblr.com/) for believing that I'll do a good job writing this fic, you are a babe! I really hope you really enjoy and like it!!! <3
> 
> Love, Lui. x

I still remember the first time I saw you. It was lunch time at school, a sunny day. The hallways were full of students every where, talking, laughing and eating, the hallway were so loud, I was glad I could sit by the door, facing the outside of the school. I was with Niall, he was talking about some girl he thought was beautiful and wanted to ask out and I swear I was trying to pay attention to him, but I was so tired... I was always tired. Sleepless nights. I had so many sleepless nights.

I was looking at the courtyard, some kids were playing volleyball and one of them were so bad at it, he kept hitting the ball too hard making it go too far - sometimes hitting another student's head - and his friends couldn't stop laughing at him. Then I saw a tree, a group of students were stand near it, laughing and eating. There was four students and they were so normal to me, I'm sure I already saw them at the hallway or even at some party until I payed more attention and... I saw you. 

You were leaning against the tree, brown hair with a fringe, tanned skin that looked like caramel and I remember wanting to lick it, I wanted to get up, walk to you and lick your neck, you were small, but didn't look fragile, you didn't look like you needed some kind of protection, you didn't look breakable. I remember that I thought my school's uniform was horrible, but you looked so beautiful in it. A white shirt and dark blue pants. You were laughing about something I never knew what it was, but I guess it was something really funny because you had crinckles by your eyes. 

I kept looking at you and I seriously went out of earth while thinking of how I wanted to talk to you, to know who you were, what you were laughing about, I was daydreaming about you until I got sent back to earth by a grumbling Niall. "Who is he?" was the only thing that left my mouth while I shameless pointed to you, the small boy leaning agaisnt a tree, and Niall had to give up talking about the girl to - not so happily - answer me about you, the mysterious boy. "His name is Louis, he isn't even new at school, how the fuck you never saw him before?" said my moody blonde friend, but all I could think about was your name...

Louis  
Louis  
Louis

And this, Louis, this is my book about us. This is me telling what happened, how we fucked everything we had up, how I fucked everything up, but how we gave everything we had to each other for as long as we could, about how we were happy. I'm sorry we had to break our hearts into pieces to finally be free.

You'll always have a part of me.

With love, H. x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was really short, but it's only the introduction and I want to know what do you think, do you think this will work out? Is it a good idea?  
> I hope so. x


	2. So Far (It's Alright)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while my brother was playing guitar right next to me and I had some bad days so I couldn't really focus and I just hope you enjoy it, the story is going slow, but yeah, I think explaining things in the story is important, so yeah.
> 
> Also, the education system where I live is very distinct from the britain education system, so I'll write it how I know and lived it, ok? 
> 
> Btw, english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if I made too many mistakes. :)
> 
> I really hope you liked it. Leave comments and kudos and yay, let me know what you think about this chapter and about the story.
> 
> See ya soon. x

After I saw Louis for the first time, I couldn't stop thinking about him and I'm pretty sure I saw him every place I went. I saw him at the school's hallways, I saw him at parties, at the market, I even saw him tattooed inside my eyelids when I had my eyes closed while I kissed some girl on a club. I had the girl pressed against a wall while I explored her mouth... I bit her lower lip while I saw Louis inside my head. I moved my hand from the side of her body to her lower back and then to her ass. I gripped her ass so tight she left out a whimpered sound and I really wished it was Louis. I grinded on her, gave her love bites all around her neck and inside a dirty bathroom with some shitty electronic music loud enough it could explode your eardrums I made her cum on my mouth while screaming my name and pulling my hair, all while I thought about Louis. She screamed my name, she screamed 'Harry, H-H-Harry, oh god, p-please' so many times and I could only think about how Louis voice would sound this desperate... She tasted good, a natural pussy taste I knew pretty well. I really liked having a girl on the top of me, boobs moving up and down, fingers tightening at my chest skin while cumming with eyes closed and mouth open... I really liked it, but I didn't love it.  
I didn't love it because all I could think about was that boy. That small boy with crinkled smile and soft hair. I couldn't think about anything but how he would look cumming, I kee thinking about how his moans would sound like, how he would look when he was so fucking horny he thought he was insane, with pupils blown so wide his vision was a little bit blurry. I just wanted to know how he tasted, I just wanted to make him feel so good all dirty words wouldn't be enough for him to describe what he wanted, how he was feeling. I wanted to leave him wrecked, but I also wanted to be there after the sex was done and he was lying down, naked, vulnerable and shy. And that was the moment I knew I was fucked up.

I always knew I wasn't as hetero as everyone thought and it always made me scare. When I was a kid, my first sexual thoughts were with a boy and it made me so confused, I was meant to think about girls, I mean, I thought about girls, but it wasn't as good as thinking about boys. Every time I wanked, I thought about girls, it was nice imagining a beautiful girl with her mouth wrapped around my cock, but my thoughts always changed in the middle of my wank, when my fingers wrapped tight around my cock and my hand speeded up and all I could think about was a boy leaving a fat strip of saliva along my length, applying my pre-cum on his lips like it was lipstick, gagging when the tip of my cock hit the back of his throat and I swear I went crazy every fucking time I wanked thinking about a guy, it was a explosion of pleasure and I spent ages and ages without telling anyone about my desires about boys, about how I wanted to have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend and then I met Niall.

Niall was the best friend I've ever had. He was a nice guy, always paid attention at people, always tried to make everyone happy with his bright smile and big blue eyes that had the power to make you want to die drowned on it. I met him at 9th grade. He was the new student and was so shy the only thing he did for almost a month was blush bright red every time someone talked to him. The first time we talked was when he kicked a football ball too hard and it hit me right on the forehead, he got so scared I would have a stroke because of him he brought me lunch for a week so he could be near me and keep an eye if I started to have one of the symptoms. It was awkward and crazy, yes, but I was glad we started having lunch together, he was so funny and talked about everything and anything and that's all I needed. I wasn't the most popular guy at school, but I knew a lot of people since I studied all my life at the same place and I was glad I had the pleasure to introduce Niall to every single person I knew and with that, we became inseparable and best friends. Always together, for good and bad things. 

The first time I told Niall I liked boys in more than a friendly way was when we decided to drink pure vodka and I got so drunk I started to cry and rumble about how depressed I felt, I told him I was so sad I wish I could just die, that I only thought about cutting myself and kissing boys. He didn't understand what was happening at first and just hugged me while I cried and cried and cried. That day, we slept at a parking lot and he kissed the top of my head saying he didn't care if I liked "pussy, dicks or both of them at the same time", he just wanted me healthy and happy and the next day I woke up to a huge hangover and some McDonald's Niall bought us saying it could heal any pain. We had the most sincere talk I've ever had in my life in that parking lot, in that cloudy day. I tod him about every pain, every cut, how confused I felt, how I didn't know how to deal with life, everything was so overwhelming and I didn't know how to respond to everyone expectations and he held my hand tight. He held my hand tight and listened to everything, to every single thing I had to say and that I haven't told anyone until that day, then he opened up and told me about his problems, how his heart was broken because the girl he was dating cheated on him, how he was afraid of growing up, but that he would make it and so would I. He told me we would make it together and that he would be at my wedding telling everyone about the time I drank so much I threw up at his brand new sneakers and about the time we slept at a parking lot because were "too tired" to go home and that that was the day we became best friend, confidents and brothers. He was so fucking precious and I'm still glad he was my best friend.

The days went on and on and I still couldn't take Louis out of my mind, it was driving me crazy and I had to meet the boy. I told Niall I was going crazy and that boy's smile was the blame, I told him I had to meet the mysterious young lad or I would lie in the middle of the hallway while screaming and Niall laughed telling me he knew how to introduce us.  
It was friday, in the middle of March, it was a cold day and I went to the same place I sat every lunch time. I sat there drinking a grape juice waiting for Niall or any other of my friends to show up and sit with me. It took half of the lunch time for Niall to appear and when he came, he brought another three students with him. At first, I didn't really recognize then, until Niall started to introduce us and I almost fainted because, well, they were Louis' friends and I would probably met the guy this day and I know my reaction was childish, but what could I do? I was almost desperate. The first person Niall introduced me was Liam, he was a nice guy with a strong voice and puppy eyes, he sat beside me making a joke about my dirty all start and I pushed him lightly while I laughed. The next one was a girl named Perrie and she was stunning with her bright eyes and soft hair, she smiled big at me and kept stood near Niall, they were talking about some Math subject and I honeslty wasn't 1% interested on it, fuck Thales' theorem and then there was Zayn. Zayn was one of these quiet guys with beautiful eyes and soft skin and I was stunned about how he told me we already met on a party, but we were so drunk and I act like I haven't met him on the other day so he figured I just had a black out and didn't talk to me, I laughed and apologized, he told me it was okay and joined the place I was sitting with Liam. They were nice people and I was glad I met them though I was still waiting for this particularly boy to appear.  
Lunch was over and the small boy didn't appear.

One week went on and now, Niall, Perrie, Liam, Zayn and I were a group of friends that were always together and the boy wasn't anywhere to be seen. I honestly started to doubt the guy was real, but Niall kept reassuring me he was real, but he wasn't coming to school and with that, I thought my chances to even met the guy were over. How would I met him if he was nowhere to be seen? Maybe he went to another school? Maybe he died? Maybe he was abducted by some lucky aliens and fucking hell, I just wanted to meet him and maybe kiss his neck.  
And more days went on without the presence of the boy until it was a sunny Tuesday lunch time at school and I was leaning against the wall, looking down at my four friends that were sat on the floor, we were talking about Zelda and how Liam couldn't get to the next level until someone stood next to me saying with a angelic voice, 'of course he can't win this, he's a fucking dork and can't play videogame well'. Niall, Perrie and Zayn laughed while Liam pounted and I looked to the side to see who was next to me and bang! my heart almost explode and well... Hello, caramel skin guy.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was really short, but it's only the introduction and I want to know what do you think, do you think this will work out? Is it a good idea?  
> I hope so. x


End file.
